After telling both girls how they had stood out with that little race of theirs a few minutes ago, I asked Manny to come out the pool. It was easy as she was in lane 1. I first acknowledged that she had stood out for me and that I was so happy to see her do this.
Then I asked her if the whole 25 she was racing had been the same in her head. She answered no, there had been a difference. I asked her to point out where in the 25 the change had occurred. After she showed me the spot, I shared with her that it was at that same spot, that I noticed her slowing down and changing channel.
I asked her caringly: “What did the sentences say? How did they convince you that it was ok for you to slow down?”
The voice said that she was ahead of me and that she would beat me anyway.
She answered: “The voice said that she was ahead of me and that she would beat me anyway.”
I could tell she was being honest with herself. I could see in her eyes that she didn’t like seeing what she was discovering about herself but I could also see that she was glad to be making this discovery.
“So, whose voice is this? The voice of your comfort zone or the voice of your true self, your Champion?” I asked wanting it to be clear.
“It’s the voice of my alarm system, the little devil on my shoulder. I got tricked!” She answered surprised to see how subtle the trick had been.
She understood that it was the voice of her comfort zone tricking her into surrendering to her fear of being beaten after giving it her all. She felt there wasn’t enough odds to beat Karly even if she’d invest all of her energy into racing and therefore chose not to take the risk to invest without return.
The value in investing all of her energy in racing someone, isn’t in winning or losing but rather is in the struggle she puts herself through to win.
Many swimmers confuse the return on their investment with the outcome. Had Manny understood then that the value in investing all of her energy in racing someone, isn’t in winning or losing but rather is in the struggle she puts herself through to win, she might have kept racing until the end of the 25. In this context, you win every time you allow yourself to go through the struggle regardless of the outcome.
“Next time your little devil tries this trick on you, you could say things like: Maybe I can’t beat her, but I sure can make it harder for her to beat me! What will help you fight this trick next time is if you can understand this: What changes us into faster swimmers isn’t how many times we win. Think about this. Imagine you are so talented that even we you don’t try; you swim faster than everyone else.
If you were that swimmer and wanted to get faster, just for fun, what would you have to do?”
Smiling she answered: “I would have to work. To push myself.”
“Would you say that the word struggle reflects what you mean by working harder and pushing yourself?”
She nodded.
“So, when you struggle to beat Karly in practice, do you become faster only when you beat her?” I asked seeing the lights were turning on inside her.
“I always get faster when I struggle to win, whether I win or lose.” She answered pensively trying to absorb what she was understanding.
“Go back in then! Allow yourself to struggle, it’s the magic recipe!”
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